Infiltrating Hogwarts
by lifexlemons
Summary: Squalo finds himself in Hogwarts. Rated T for Squalo's swearing.


**A/N: I wrote this during the summer, under stress from college apps. I'm still under stress from college apps, but found this while frantically searching for my Pomona supp essay. __ Here, HAVE THIS. I don't even remember why I wrote it.**

**Lots of swearing, no pairings. Blatant ignoring of both HP canon and Reborn canon. More of a drabble than anything else...772 worlds. (That's 27 backwards in there!)  
**

#

Squalo looked around him, scowling.

They called it "The Great Hall," but personally, he saw nothing great about it. Sure, the floating candles were nifty, and it was nice that the ceiling reflected the sky--but was that it?

A flash of gold caught his attention. He curled his lip. Golden dishware? The Varia had _better_.

Once again, Squalo found himself wondering exactly what he was doing at Hogwarts. Yes, he knew that the official reason--the reason he'd been given by his superiors in the Varia--was to infiltrate Hogwarts, and find out what he could about the castle and its inhabitants. He didn't believe this, though. He knew that there had to be some other, hidden reason the Varia had sent him here. Having just recently only become a member of the Varia though, he was in no position to question orders.

No, he'd take his orders without questions...once Xanxus took over the Vongola, there'd be no need for these kinds of stupid missions. He could wait, until Xanxus toppled the Ninth. He was sure that it wouldn't take long--a few years, perhaps...

The usual noise and clamor of the other students, the ones sitting at the four tables, suddenly hushed, as a raggedy old hat was placed on a stool. Squalo's eyes narrowed. This then, must be what they called the Sorting Hat.

It all seemed utterly foreign, and completely pointless to Squalo. He knew which House he was going to--it was the only House he would accept.

Gryffindor.

He'd heard rumors about the sword of Gryffindor. It was said to be a priceless artifact, though lost somewhere in the depths of the castle.

Squalo would find it. And he would take it.

"Aberforth, Ruth!"

The Sorting had begun.

#

It seemed that in no time at all, it was Squalo's turn to step towards the Sorting Hat.

The stern-looking witch who had been calling names pursed her lips as he stepped past her. "Leather robes are not school regulation, Mr. Superbi."

Squalo shrugged, and called over his shoulder, "This is just how I dress, get used to it," and kept walking, until he reached the stool, though he could feel the glare the stern-faced woman was sending his way. He sat, and put the Sorting Hat on. It was too big for him, and he felt slightly ridiculous, just sitting in front of everyone with an over-sized Hat covering his face, but it couldn't be helped.

"Let's see, let's see..." said a soft voice into his ears, and it was only Squalo's enormous self-control that kept him from jumping up, throwing the hat off, and tearing it to shreds. No one had seen fit to tell him that the hat talked.

VOIII, he thought. This should be easy then. Put me in Gryffindor.

There was a brief, surprised paused. Then the Hat spoke again. It sounded almost...smug. "I think not."

WHAT THE FUCK, he thought. This is not up for debate. I _SAID_, put me in Gryffindor!

"No, no...but with your ambition...to be the Sword Emperor..."

Squalo felt a brief and unpleasant jolt in his stomach. The Hat could sift through his memories?

"More than that...I can see now where you belong..."

Squalo waited.

"Clearly," said the Hat, speaking out loud. "You are...A SLY--"

FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND DIE.

Hats couldn't swallow and didn't need to breathe--but there was a distinct _choking_ sound from the Hat.

Squalo focused all of his killing intent upon the scrap of cloth over his head, and grinned, sharp and cold, as he felt bloodlust fill him.

"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the Hat, an edge of panic in its voice.

Squalo threw the Hat off, striding towards the table with the image of a lion upon its red and gold banner. He ignored the whispers of the other students following him, and even the wide-eyed stares he was receiving.

"Did you hear that..."

"It sounded as if he was about to be Sorted into the Slytherin..."

"What kind of horrible..."

"Check _out_ those leather robes..."

Finally, he reached the Gryffindor table. As one, the Gryffindors recoiled from him.

Remember your orders, said a cold voice in his mind. The Varia...stay...unnoticed...

Fuck that, decided Squalo, and jumped onto the table, directly in front of a dark-haired boy who stared up at him with shocked emerald eyes.

Squalo smirked down at him, and then turned to fully address the rest of the Gryffindors.

"VOIIIIIIIIIIIII! FROM NOW, YOU TRASH ARE GOING TO BE HELPING ME FIND THE GRYFFINDOR SWORD!"

For one of the few times in Hogwarts history, the Great Hall was utterly silent.


End file.
